Important Steps To Take When Separating From Your Partner To Make It Easier On Your Kids
Last Modified: Feb 25, 2023
Everyone involved in a separation or divorce experiences it as an extremely stressful and emotional situation, however, children frequently feel as if their entire world has been turned upside down. The incredibly difficult situation gets even more complicated if you and your partner have children. When your parents' marriage ends and the family splits up, it can be traumatic at any age.
Children could feel shocked, misunderstood, or angry. Even worse, some of them could feel guilty and blame themselves for the issues at home. Divorce is never an easy process, and inevitably, there will be a certain sorrow and difficulty throughout this difficult period. Yet if you put your kids' well-being first, you can significantly reduce their suffering.
Plan Out How You'll Tell Them
Divorce has so many frustrating aspects, but telling your children that it is happening is especially painful. The way you tell them can have a major impact on how they react.
Consider writing your speech in advance, keeping it simple, and reading it out several times in a silent place with no one around to hear you. By doing so, you could be more emotionally stable for your child's feelings during the dialogue without letting your own emotions take over. If you and your partner have trouble communicating, a divorce mediator may help you negotiate, stimulate dialogue, and get to a mutually satisfactory solution. Your children and you will be saved from the unnecessary suffering of an improperly handled divorce with the help of a mediator.
Which Words to Use and How to Use Them
No matter how difficult it may be, you should make an effort to have a sympathetic tone and bring up the most relevant components of the situation first. Provide your children with an explanation that is accurate while also being appropriate for their age.
Tell it like it is. Although it is your responsibility to explain to your children why you are getting a divorce, it is possible that long explanations will just serve to aggravate them. Your children may need to be reminded that even if you, as their parents, do not always get along, your love for them does not diminish with the passage of time.
Even though it may seem simple, telling your kids you still love them sends a strong message.
Many emotions are felt during a divorce. While having bitterness or anger toward an ex-partner is normal, parents need to be mindful of how they express these attitudes. No, this doesn't mean ignoring your feelings. Compartmentalizing them is exactly what it means. Tell your therapist about them or complain to a reliable friend. But by every means, avoid allowing your intense feelings to provoke a conflict that might arise in the presence of your children. Parents have a greater chance to be cooperative and quiet around their children if they can process their feelings and establish proper boundaries with their ex-spouse and their children.
Try to Be Compassionate to Your Partner
It is reasonable and likely that throughout a separation, at least one individual may have thoughts of imminent disaster. Keep in mind that your ex-partners have an immediate impact on your children. Be sympathetic and understanding if your former needs help. It does not imply that you must be the object of absurd behavior. Not you.
Also, by continuing to communicate with your former spouse, you can save your children the stress that comes with seeing their parents argue. With your help, your children can not only go through this difficult period but also come out on the other side feeling loved, strong, and even more connected to both of their parents.
There is absolutely no reason why kids can't survive a divorce comfortably and soundly, but how their parents handle the following will decide this. It's not overplaying it at all to say that everything depends on this one thing. The kids will gradually get used to it, so long as the grownups don't drag them into a filthy heaving mess.
The only path through a separation's stormy sea is straight down the middle. There are several things that will help navigate through rough waves easier, but nothing will make it simple or make you willing to repeat the experience.
Your children will learn to deal with strange situations with your help, so please be patient, and reassuring, and have a listening ear. You can help your children remember they can rely on you for consistency, structure, and care by establishing routines they can rely on.