Since coming out as gay in April 2021, former Bachelor star Colton Underwood has been open about his sexuality. 

In his new Netflix docuseries Coming Out Colton, the 29-year-old reality star admitted that he struggled with being gay to the point that he abused Xanax as a coping mechanism.

“I was suppressing my sexuality so hard that I was taking medication daily to deal with depression and anxiety, and that made me a paranoid freak. I didn’t trust a whole lot of people, and I was trying to do anything and everything I could to protect a secret.”

During an on-camera conversation with his longtime friend Kassidy, Underwood said he attempted suicide as he “hit rock bottom” one night when he “took a lot of Xanax”. His harrowing moment came after his breakup with Cassie Randolph in early 2020.

Randolph, 26, had obtained a restraining order against  Underwood in September 2020 for harassing and stalking her, She later dropped the order two months later.

Underwood had chosen to date Randolph as his season 23 winner in late 2018 but broke up in May 2020.

“I started to spiral. I was f–ked up. … I lost my mind, and I did some things, I said some things that I’m not proud of.” he said on the camera in his new show, which is set to premiere on Friday.

“I did f–k up. I made mistakes, and I will take ownership in that,” he said.  Underwood, however, clarified that he was not making excuses for his behavior towards Randolph following their split.

Cassie Randolph has not directly addressed Underwood coming out as gay. She has rather proved she has moved on with her life as she is dating her boyfriend Brighton Reinhardt.