Using a surrogate “felt like surrendering to failure” says actress and new mom Gabrielle Union!
Last Modified: Feb 27, 2019
The 46-year old Bring it On actress Gabrielle Union has been married to Dwyane Wade from August 30, 2014. She is also a stepmother to husband Wade’s three children from previous relationships.
Tries and fails
Given the age of Union and a diagnosed adenomyosis patient, a type of endometriosis, which can impair both the quantity and quality of a woman's eggs, odds stood against her.
She had revealed her infertility issues in 2017 that she has had at least eight miscarriages and three failed IVF treatments. With Union, Wade too struggled with the failed pregnancies and IVF treatments. He said,
"I'm watching her do things to her body and to herself that it's getting to the point where it's not healthy. And as I always told her: 'I want this baby just as much as you do, but I married you, and you are the most important thing to me.
So it came to a point where, you know, I started to feel a certain way about that because I didn't want something to happen to her. When doctors floated the possibility of an operation, I had to step in and say: 'Baby, it's me and you, you know? I wanna grow old with you. And, you know, I want this - I want our miracle baby, but I want you.'"
Thus, the couple had opted surrogacy. With a long checklist of qualities, she wanted in the surrogate, an unusual one of on the top of her list. Gabrielle Union wanted someone who loved to read! She described the moments when she was selecting a surrogate to carry her baby.
“Some people care about the race, religion, or food habits of their surrogate,” Gabrielle Union said, “I was like, ‘I want a reader,’ ” as in someone who reads books. When Union ended up meeting the surrogate she used, there was one thing that tipped her off that she had found the right person: “She said, ‘I love the smell of the pages.’”
Union and Wade’s daughter
In November 2018, Union announced that she and Wade have welcomed a baby girl, Kaavia James Union Wade, together via surrogacy on November 6, 2018. Although she is very happy with her daughter, she did have a lingering feeling of “defeat”. In a 2019 interview with Women's Health, she said,
"There's nothing more that I wanted than to cook my own baby. The idea of [using a surrogate] felt like surrendering to failure. People want to see the bump, hear that you got hemorrhoids—they want to know you're like them. I was like, 'This is going to seem like the most Hollywood s--t ever. Will I be embraced as a mom?' It's terrifying."
In a late 2018 interview with Oprah Winfrey, she talked about how her infertility issues made her think. "Did I fail in some kind of way? Am I defective in some kind of way?," she continued "Am I less than in some kind of way? Am I less worthy in some kind of way?"
However, when her daughter was delivered, she had an overwhelming experience. Speaking of it, she said,
"Oh my God, this is my baby. I wanted to fight everybody in that room for various reasons and no reason."
Union says she is enjoying newly found motherhood and is "now in the right mindset and mental space, and open to being the best mom” she can be. The excited mother shared her days as a mother in a most relevant way,
“like that second day in Vegas where you’re all, ‘I’m not sleeping Saturday away. I’m going to day-party and rally!’ But your body is like, ‘Are you crazy?’ You’re exhausted and you kind of start to feel a little ill because you haven’t slept.”
The protective mother also wants her daughter to grow up with values, make and learn from mistakes. “I want to instill in her morals, values," Union added, "And then I want to give her space to fill in those gaps, fall on her ass, and make mistakes. I don’t want to be super judge-y.”
Short bio of Gabrielle Union
Gabrielle Union was born on October 29, 1972, as Gabrielle Monique Union in Omaha, Nebraska, United States. Her father Sylvester E. Union worked as a military sergeant while her mother Theresa (Glass) Union worked as a social worker as well as a phone company manager. She has two siblings, sisters named Kelly Union and Tracy Union, one younger and one older...see full bio